small gifts

After reading my Dec post, I see that I blogged about the same thing in Feb. Clearly I needed to process that event twice in order to move on. So be it.

Last week my oldest daughter and I traveled home for a funeral in the family. My dad's oldest brother passed away. It was a somber event and yet I saw Jesus in many of my relatives and I had no idea anyone knew Him. It was so encouraging and sweet for me. What a gift.

But this time we needed to stay in a hotel. Dad prepared the house, but we just couldn't do it. It is so hard to be in the house now.

My daughter leaves for China soon and it was a chance for her to say good bye again to grandma. Before we left town we stopped by the house to see mom.

Please understand there is so little left now. No eye contact, no sense of the room, and consistent choking on her own saliva. It is so hard. But when my daughter sat next to her my mom started moving. She found my daughter's hand, pulled it to her heart and would not let it go.

We were undone.

I am undone right now just writing it.

One day when my daughter is older we will be able to process it all, but for now we are simply undone.

She is in there. She knows more than we understand.

She is still a gift to us, so we will enjoy what we can and remain faithful and thankful for the time we have left.

Thank you Jesus for small gifts and powerful memories of love that will never fade.

Amen.