The Exchange Rate

I have a friend who is really good at making things. He is a more than a builder. He is an artist with materials. He is always thinking outside the box and not only makes some really cool stuff, he adds an inventor's heart to the final product. I am continually amazed at what he creates.

We were talking the other day and he said that he has finally figured out his ideal to reality exchange rate. If he thinks a project will ideally take 2 hours, he times it by 2.5 and that is how long the project will really take. He says its been really helpful because then he can offer more realistic expectations to his wife and himself.

I think everyone should figure out their exchange rate in multiple areas of their lives. This would really help us give ourselves grace but also foster communication and unity.

I wonder what my exchange rate is on home projects? I would guess it is pretty low. Maybe 1.5. I have a pretty realistic understanding of what a project will take, but no one can anticipate all the little things, like needing a part or not having the right tool, or your kids using the thing you need as a prop in their latest video production. But I really enjoy projects and tend to be able to approach them with realistic expectations.

But what if I have to work with someone else? Recently I had my kids empty out a bookshelf that my husband and I built together shortly after getting married. It is now empty but we are torn on what to do with it because it is a reminder of two things: First that my husband and I are very different and should not try to build things together, but also that if we do step out together and attempt a project, we might create something that we still own 21 years later. So what do we do? I want to burn it. My husband, however, wants to put in the garage and think about it. More on that another time.

But I also wonder what my exchange rate is for:
growing in intimacy with my God?
caring for my kid's hearts?
letting my husband love me?
letting go of my past?
grieving?

Recently, I have begun to feel the weight of grieving lift from my shoulders. I don't really know why it is lifting, it just seems to be lifting. I recently applied for a job; part-time but still much more than I've done for many years. I am also hoping to pursue grad school at Moody in 2013. But it also feels like I have been carrying a mantle of deep sadness for a year and half. It's bigger than just my mom, but perhaps this is another difficult part of Alzheimers. You grieve before they die. I guess I am assuming you grieve after they die too, but I bet it will be really different from what I've been doing this last year and half.

I see my Dad turning a corner too. He recently bought a brand new car. I don't think we have ever had a brand new car. He got a red one, because mom always wanted a new red car. The added bonus is that he gets to surprise her with it everyday. It's the gift that just keeps giving! She is sleeping a lot more now and speaking less. She forgets all of us now at times and is in and out. I can feel my Dad's loneliness when we talk. I admire his faith but I know he needs companionship too. I have asked God to bring people into his life that will just talk to him and enjoy him.

But we know the end is near though we don't really even now what the end is in this case. Even still, my father and brother and I have become so close and God has ushered in so much healing for all of us. We were such an angry house growing up. I know God gets an amazing amount of Glory given all He has done to help us overcome all the pain we have inflicted on each other over the years. But here we stand; loving each other and feeling loved amidst the wreckage of my mother's life. We are eager for her to just be with Jesus now and enter into her peace. No more sorrow. No more pain.

So my exchange rate for grieving has been about a year and half. Never saw that coming. Really thought I could do it over a weekend.. It has taken me 15 years to forgive my mother. You have got to be kidding! Gave myself a couple years for that one. I am not even going to answer the other 3. I suppose the bottom line is the exchange rate is however long it takes. Period. God just simply is in no rush. We are in a rush. I am in a rush. God, however, is not. He will take as long as it takes. I believe that is called faithfulness.

"He who began a good work in you, will be faithful to complete it." Phil 1:6

I have tried to think more about eternity in recent days. We are eternal beings. We will live for eternity. So who cares about 15 years in light of eternity? Our God is outside of time. That is a complete mind bomb if you sit there for a minute.

So I will ease up on the "get it done yesterday" mentality. (It will probably really help my tennis game as well.) And I will simply take my God's hand and follow. When I stand really close to Him, everything else doesn't seem quite so scary and then we can just enjoy the journey no matter how long it takes.

Yes, I will do that.